Evil Dead Review!

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I’ve been wanting to write this review the moment I finished watching the film, but with time being my archenemy I didn’t get a chance. Now, a little background here. When I first heard about “the scariest movie you will ever see” I went to my movie buds, my brother and sister in law! We watched the trailer and freaked out, well me and my sister in law did, my brother grew up with the originals. So we decided we would have an Evil Dead marathon! For a whole weekend we watched the original Evil Dead from 1983.

It was cheesy, corny, funny as hell and scared me so much I couldn’t sleep that night! True story! I mean it was from 1983! The camera angles sucked, the scripted was hilarious instead of  scary, but the “possessions” Yo that it creepy makeup even for this generation. So once we finished all three films, I was excited for the remake! I mean we were stoke to the max!

Having gone to Wonder Con and sat through the Evil Dead panel, a special clip was shown and ahhhh scary!!! We were planning on watching the film in theaters however things got in the way. So…I watched it myself.

THIS REVIEW IS HUGE SPOILER ALERT!! 

The film starts off with a girl in the woods when suddenly she’s knocked out by these two men who end up bagging her as well. Then we see that she’s being held, chained to wall, she starts pleading for her life. An old woman speaking in tongues begins reading out of the ” book of the dead” saying that only the evil book can undo evil. When the girl gets the bag off her head she sees her father. The girl confused starts telling him she wants to go home. When the girl looks around she asks where her mother is, which her father replies “mommy is dead, you killed her.” The father begins pouring gasoline on her and lights up a match. The old woman yells at him “the only way to save her soul” When he lights the match his “daughter/demon” starts yelling. The father than says ” I love you baby” and shoot her. The scene cuts and the title comes up.

Ummm okay?! what was the point of that! So maybe it will get better…

A Jeep pulls up to the cabin and two young couple get out. Another woman comes up to the young man, which we later learn that their childhood friends, David and Olivia. The other young woman from the Jeep is David’s girlfriend Natalie. We hear a guy’s voice which we find out is also David’s childhood friend Eric. Eric tells David “she’s waiting in the back.” David head into the woods to find his sister, Mia, drawing while smoking. We learn that the reason for them to staying in the cabin is because Mia is a drug addict and is going “cold turkey.” With the support of her friends and brother she will be staying there until fully cleaned. 

So when Mia start complaining about an awful smell everyone thinks she’s acting out to leave and head back to her old ways. When “Grandpa” David’s and Mia’s dog finds a trap door on the floor they discover the smell Mia has been talking about. Not only did they find dead animals hanging from the ceiling but they find the “book of the dead.” Eric find the book fascinating, ignoring the fact that it is bounded by human flesh and it’s filled with satanic entries! 

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU READ THAT!! NOT LIKE IT SAYS “HEY PLEASE READ ME” IT ONLY SAYS IN THE FIRST DAMN PAGE “DON’T READ IT, DON’T WRITE IT, DON’T HEAR IT!”  

Eric begins reading out of the book and Mia starts feeling the effects. She cracks and decides to leave but with her track record the group think it’s the withdraw of the drugs. She sneaks off and drives off the road when she sees a woman in the street. Suck in a river she gets off the car and starts running, falling into a pile of  roots of the trees. When she tries to free herself the roots wrap around her and tie her down. Suddenly, a girl covered in blood appears infront of Mia and when she lifts her head up we see that it’s a possessed Mia. The wood then get into her. David and Olivia find her laying on the ground. Once their back at the cabin Olivia tells the group that Mia is hallucinating about the woods. Mia comes out of the room with a gun and shots David on the shoulder then yells “your all going to die tonight”

First off, SOME FRIENDS YOU GUYS ARE! You friend is freaking out and you think she’s over reacting! No wonder the demon got to you guys!

The gun Mia shot David with is inches away from Olivia so she rushes to get it when “possessed Mia” jumps on her and vomits on her face! Olivia kicks her off and pushes her into the basement and Eric locks her in. David orders Olivia to get another shot for Mia to put her down but freaked out she sees herself in the mirror, half her face ripped off. Eric hears something from the room and goes and checks on Olivia, finding her in the bath cutting her face off. She then attacks Eric and he bashes her head in killing her. 

Injured Eric finally tells David that he read something out of the book and that is why things are happen to them. Natalie heading to the kitchen to get water and sugar for David, Mia calls out to her in her regular voice pleading to be take out of the basement. Natalie opens the door and head down when Mia turns around and is “possessed Mia” biting her hand. Natalie grabs a knife for  defense, Mia grabs hold of the knife and cuts her tongue in half and kisses Natalie!  

David rescues Natalie, however Natalie begins cleaning her wound over the kitchen sink and notices the infection spreading. Falling onto the floor she sees a meat cutter and “possessed Mia” voice yelling at her not to cut it off! Natalie does just that, cutting her arm off!

David and Eric find her bleeding and help her up. David still in denial about everything happening. Eric frustrated with him tells him the only way to end it is to kill Mia. David angry with says that isn’t going to happen.

ARE YOU FREAKIN SERIOUS! YOUR SISTER ATTACKS EVERYBODY, YOUR OLD FRIEND RIPS HER FACE OFF AND GETS KILLED AND YOUR GIRLFRIEND CUTS OFF HER OWN ARM! BUT EVERYTHING IS FINE! YOU DUMBASS! YOUR STUPIDER THAN YOUR FRIEND WHO READ OUT OF THE BOOK!! 

Natalie becomes possessed and attacks David and Eric resulting in her dead by David. Coming to terms, David gets ready to set the cabin on fire with “possessed Mia” still locked in the basement. When David gets ready to drop the lighter Mia starts singing their late mother’s song. David can’t bring himself to do it and opens the basement door. “Possessed Mia” attacks David nearing killing him when Eric comes in and saves him. Already badly injured Eric dies. David takes Mia’s body and buries her alive hoping that will bring her back to normal, according to the book.  He succeeds  and Mia is back to normal. Heart warming reunion is cut short when David goes back inside the cabin to get the car keys and is stabbed by “possessed Eric.” About to exit the cabin he realizes he must blow up the cabin and must be done inside. David sacrifices himself to save Mia.

Outside Mia sees the cabin on fire when suddenly an arm grabs her from the ground. A woman digs herself out and chases Mia. When Mia gets in the car the woman tips it on her causing her arm suck underneath. The “abomination” heading towards her Mia rips her arm off and grabs a chainsaw and cuts the “Abomination’s” head off!

The last scene is the book of the dead closing itself. 

I did hear that Ash (Original Evil Dead hero) comes out at the end of the credits! That I thought was cool! 

So  glad I didn’t see this movie in theater! Pissed wouldn’t even begin to describe how I would feel! 

I had huge expectations for this remake and didn’t meet it at all.

Now, was it scary? Ummm there were scary parts, sure. Like the make up and some jump scares.

Disturbing imagery? yeah, I mean a girl ripping her face off.

There was little things that the original had but it wasn’t what the trailer made it out to be. For example, the end when Mia rips of her hand and reaches for the chainsaw and holds it in a way that looked like the original Evil Dead character Ash did when he cut off his hand and replaced it with the chainsaw. I hated that it wasn’t connected to the original or that fact that it was the same story line as a remake should have!

Overall, I wasn’t happy. Would I watch it again, sure why not. It’s not a bad movie, however, having seen the originals I had my standards high for this movie.

My vote is for the 1983 Evil Dead series and I hope the sequel (remake)  does better!

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